How to Be Kind to Yourself as a Busy Mom {101 Self Care Ideas!}

As a mom it is so easy to get extremely stressed out to the point where you’re not able to handle the daily stresses of life, much less be a good mom or kind to yourself.

I find that when I’m not taking care of myself, I expect too much emotional support from others…..but other people in my life are busy handling their own crap and can’t help me!

It’s a crazy vicious cycle, I tell you!

What I’m learning to do (and have been practicing for a couple years now) is being adamant about taking care of MYSELF. When I feel taken care of, I have more capacity to:

• Give more of myself to others when it’s really necessary
• Handle bigger stressors that come my way (death, sickness)
• Be present with my kids

I’m definitely not perfect at this, but I’m working on it every day. 

Learning how to be kind to yourself is difficult, but we can do this if we try! 

Why It’s Important to Take Care of Yourself First

Whether you are depressed (I definitely had post-partum depression after all three births) or slightly down or worn out, learning the practice of self care is SO IMPORTANT. 

You don’t have to tell everyone to shove off so you have time for yourself. I look at it more like things I can incorporate into my schedule on a regular basis so I can rejuvenate.

Being Kind to Yourself Prepares You for Pouring Into Others

There’s a whole lotta mom guilt wrapped up in this, though. 

We feel guilty if we’re doing to little for our kids….what kind of mom does that make me?

We feel guilty if we’re doing too much for our kids….how will they ever learn to be self-sufficient human beings?!

This is NOT about being selfish.

This is about giving yourself the grace that you extend to others all day long. When you take care of yourself, you will have a larger gas tank to pour into others.

In other words, taking care of yourself first is the everyday equivalent of putting your oxygen mask on before helping someone else…they TELL you to do this on a plane! We need to start doing it on the ground as well. 😊

Repeat after me: 

I AM NOT BEING SELFISH by taking time to take care of myself. It makes me a better mom.

The end. Don’t apologize. This is about YOU.

101 Intentional Acts of Self Kindness Ideas 

If you struggle to find the line between taking care of yourself and taking care of others, I hope this list helps you! It’s 101 intentional acts of SELF kindness activities that you can adapt to suit your needs. 

We teach our kids to be kind to others all the time….but do we teach anyone to be kind to themselves? I think we could all use a little less self-induced pressure in our lives! 

It’s important to know that taking care of yourself goes by many names – caring for your own needs, practicing kindness to yourself, etc. As Merriam Webster puts it, SELF CARE is simply “care for oneself.”

How can that be a bad thing? 

1.     Learn self defense
2.     Breathe 10 slow breaths
3.     Go on a walk
4.     Surround yourself with people you love
5.     Choose alone time
6.     Call your grandma
7.     Read the Bible
8.     Practice gratitude
9.     Do kind things without expecting acknowledgment or anything in return
10.     Ask for help when you’re stuck
11.    Watch your favorite movie
12.    Pray
13.    Get a massage
14.    Don’t hold grudges
15.    Seek a mentor
16.    Buy the expensive coffee
17.    Learn a skill you’ve always wanted to have
18.    Take a long hot bath
19.    Memorize important Bible verses for times of high stress
20.    Order online groceries (no more lines!)
21.    Ask for that raise
22.    Call an old friend who’s not on Facebook
23.    Stand up for yourself
24.    Do the right thing even when it’s uncool
25.    Book next year’s vacation
26.    Get a pedicure
27.    Go to the gym
28.    Sign up for dance lessons
29.    Invite a friend over for tea
30.    Create a manicure station in your bathroom
31.    Go on a date
32.    Compliment yourself in the mirror
33.    Walk through a flower garden
34.    Stretch
35.    Let your boundaries be known
36.    Flip through a photo album filled with good memories
37.    Hydrate!
38.    Wear your favorite scent
39.    Get lost in a good book
40.    Make future plans with friends
41.    Reminisce
42.    Get ready 30 minutes early and chill (if you’re consistently late like me and always feel rushed, this is a biggie!)
43.    Join a club
44.    Hold an impromptu dance party in your living room
45.    Listen to your favorite playlist
46.    Set aside time for a low-key afternoon tea
47.    Put away the scale
48.    Go to bed early
49.    Speak positive words about yourself
50.    Make your husband’s / child’s favorite meal
51.    Cozy up to a warm fire
52.    Sleep in late
53.    Get a new pair of cozy socks
54.    Hug everyone in your family today
55.    Have a picnic with your child
56.    Do a crossword puzzle, word search, or sudoku
57.    Take a nap
58.    Donate items you no longer need or use
59.    Buy a pretty accessory (e.g. scarf, belt, or jewelry)
60.    Challenge your kids to a pillow fight
61.    Make a gratitude list
62.    Create a vision board or start a goal journal
63.    Throw an impromptu get-together with your closest friends
64.    Smile at strangers
65.    Choose a TV series to watch
66.    Delete email apps from your phone
67.    Set a Do Not Disturb period on your phone (a few hours during the day or night)
68.    Start a simple fitness plan
69.    Drink a glass of wine in silence
70.    Spend 30 minutes reading every night before bedtime
71.    Have a coffee date with yourself on a Saturday morning
72.    Hire a babysitter with no purpose in mind
73.    Go on a girls only weekend
74.    Take a morning off from getting the kids ready
75.    Hire a cleaner (even if just once)— or enlist your kids to actually do the cleaning
76.    Take five minutes to reflect every morning on something to be grateful for
77.    Meditate or practice intentional breathing for ten minutes
78.    Take up a hobby/learn something new
79.    Watch a TV show (for adults, not kids!)
80.    Enjoy a piece of chocolate
81.    Buy yourself some new clothes
82.    Exercise or go for a walk
83.    Go to your favorite coffee shop, alone.
84.    Go window shopping
85.    Write a note to someone you love and tell them why
86.    Put on your favorite outfit and look fabulous…even if you’re not going anywhere
87.    Pick out a new pair of earrings
88.    Put on music from “back then” and sing along to your old favorites
89.    Eat dessert for dinner
90.    Go for a walk around the block
91.    Kiss your husband
92.    Go to the library and enjoy the quiet
93.    Try a new restaurant for lunch (maybe with a friend!)
94.    Do a random act of kindness for a stranger
95.    Buy yourself flowers
96.    Talk to a mental health pro to get tips for stress management
97.    Ask for help when you need it
98.    Finally start one of those Pinterest projects you’ve been looking at!
99.    Have a movie marathon day
100.    Play a board game with friends or family
101.    Clean up your contact list on your phone and delete old texts and voicemails

Share this list with your friends so they can hold you accountable for taking care of yourself!! 

This self care checklist of 101 ways to be kind to yourself was a collaborative project by Lena @ WhatMommyDoes, Corinne @ Wondermom Wannabe, Monica @ Redefining Mom, Kori @ Kori at Home, and Lisa @ Graceful Abandon.

Further Reading: 

• Why Does Self Care Matter? ~ Graceful Abandon
• Random Acts of Kindness ~ Wonderwoman Wannabe
• 6 Ways to Prevent Caregiver Burnout ~ Kori at Home
• 7 Gilt Free Ways to Make Time for Yourself ~ Redefining Mom